How to Deal with Life as HSPs

Life is tough right now. My journey has taken me down a very rough road, ridden with potholes. I yearn for some smooth asphalt. You do, too, I’m sure.

Most of us, sensitive people, are having a rough time of it. That’s normal. But what about those of us who are a higher level than just sensitive, as in Highly Sensitive People? Even if we don’t consider ourselves in this category, we could all probably learn something from it.

This post is borrowed, in part, from an article I read in the Creative Mind series by Douglas Eby (see footnote below). He contributes worthwhile and insightful articles about some of the psychological makeup of our lives. I find that what society is going through at present is causing a major drain on our mental state (I know it is mine), and this most recent article on Highly Sensitive People deals with that. I thought it most relevant to share.

Clinical research psychologist and author Elaine Aron began researching the personality trait of high sensitivity, or Sensory Processing Sensitivity, in the early 1990s. She summarizes our experience as a highly sensitive person (HSP) with the acronym DOES:

D is for Depth of Processing
O is for Overstimulation
E is for Emotional Reactivity and Empathy
S is for Sensing the Subtle

Dr Aron comments about the ‘O’ aspect: “being easily overstimulated is the only negative part of the trait, but it’s a big one. People, with all of this processing, if they’re processing everything that happens to them, their neurotransmitters get worn out sooner.”

“Anxiety or high stress is actually pretty common for highly sensitive people. Much of it has to do with an overloaded sensitive nervous system.” Sensitivity therapist and author Julie Bjelland continues, “When the nervous system doesn’t get time to turn off, even away from someone’s energy in the room, this nervous system ‘engine’ gets overwhelmed…

“It’s common for highly sensitive people to have a busy mind and have a hard time turning it off to relax.” {Boy, can I relate to this!}

The human mind is wired to look out for us which can often mean thinking worst-case scenarios and a negative view of things.

It takes conscious effort to maintain a positive outlook for us all, which of course is not always easy. As HSPs we sometimes have a tendency to turn our powerful cognitive processing ability in on ourselves. When this is coupled with low energy or a pattern of self-doubt and low self-esteem our own minds can quickly become a very difficult place to be.

The trouble is, it can be difficult to identify what are just low-frequency thoughts of fear and which are coming from a place of knowing and self-alignment.

What Drains and Fills Energy for an HSP?

Most HSPs tell me that one of their biggest struggles is the feeling of being tired, depleted and overwhelmed. Here is a list of things that generally drain our energy and things that fill it up.

In what ways do you relate?

These tend to drain our energy and use precious brain space:

• Self judgment
• Self blame
• Too high expectations of ourselves
• Trying to please everyone
• Putting everybody’s need above our own too often and at the expense of our own needs
• Being too busy
• Not enough rest
• Clutter
• Sensory overload

These give us energy and create extra brain space:

• Self care (meditation, yoga, swimming, naps, time with pets, music, reading, etc)
• Quiet alone time
• Rest and enough sleep
• Mindfulness
• Nature
• Developing more self compassion
• Self acceptance
• Being creative and or doing things that we love
• Connecting deeply

Living well with proper self care and balance as a highly sensitive person allows us to access our super strengths and gifts of the trait so we can thrive.

Want to live to your highest potential as an HSP? Do challenges hold you back from using your gifts? Learn how to create healthy boundaries, say no without guilt, get your needs met and feel more connected. The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person book (print and digital versions).

Highly Sensitive People, of whom I evidently am one, experience life and its pitfalls a lot more than the rest of us. It even feels self-defeating at times (for me it does). If life seems to be getting the best of you, try breaking down each day into smaller parcels of time. You might even go so far as dividing your mornings and afternoons in half (get through the first half of your morning before you begin thinking about the second half of the morning). Your day becomes more manageable that way.

Take your high sensitivity in stride for it can be both a blessing and a curse. Above all else, take one day at a time. Remember to celebrate your mini victories!

Join Julie and your HSP tribe in our new Sensitive-Empowerment Community! Douglas Eby (M.A./Psychology) is author of The Creative Mind series of sites which provide “Information and inspiration to help creative people thrive.”

 

Hopefully making a ruckus, one blog post at a time!

Be sure to check out my other blog, Ideasnmoreblog, for a different kind of playground for creativity, innovation and inspiring stuff.

 

Live Long and Prosper, Ukraine!

 

Solitude and Dr. Seuss

This week Joe’s Journey looks at solitude and its impact on creativity, and on Thursday’s Ideasnmoreblog a birthday tribute to a very special creative sort, Dr. Seuss.

Solitude, as has been noted previously, is both a good and not-so-good thing to experience. I’ve had it both ways. I live alone so it’s quiet most days and my mind takes me all over. Solitude produces sadness and puts a smile on my face, just not at the same time.

Memories abound amidst realities I’d soon not face. But from those memories arise certain vignettes which sometimes serve as the creative spark for my next fiction story and/or blog post. The creative juices will flow but at times the flow is more like a drip.

Below is a sampling of different scenarios from various folks who experience solitude and have turned it into a positive development in their creativity.

Musician Ani DiFranco produced her album, “Educated Guess,” entirely on her own. An interviewer asked, “Your approach, your energy on the current tour and on the new album seem different. Why is that?”

DiFranco:“The difference is solitude. I have it in my life now, and I didn’t for years, at all… now I’m alone on stage, it’s been like a year and a half, and I’m alone in my dressing room and I’m alone in my home. And there’s just a lot less people around. So it allows for more contemplation.”

Writer Erica Jong thinks“Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to nurture it in solitude and to follow the talent to the dark places where it leads.”

“Painter Gwen John, poet Stevie Smith, philosopher Simone Weil, writers Isak Dinesen, Rebecca West and Katherine Mansfield are among women who used aloneness as a lab.”

[From review by Laurie Stone of the book Alone! Alone!: Lives of Some Outsider Women, by Rosemary Dinnage]

In her Psychology Today article Field Guide to the Loner: The Real Insiders, Elizabeth Svoboda writes about Miina Matsuoka who“lives by herself in New York City. She owns two cats and routinely screens her calls. But before you jump to conclusions, note that she is comfortable hobnobbing in any of five languages for her job as business manager at an international lighting-design firm.

“She just strongly prefers not to socialize, opting instead for long baths, DVDs, and immersion in her art projects. She does have good, close friends, and goes dancing about once a month, but afterward feels a strong need to ‘hide and recoup.’

“In our society, where extroverts make up three-quarters of the population, loners (except Henry David Thoreau) are pegged as creepy or pathetic. But soloists like Matsuoka can function just fine in the world – they simply prefer traveling through their own interior universe.”

The author adds, “Contrary to popular belief, not all loners have a pathological fear of social contact. ‘Some people simply have a low need for affiliation,’ says Jonathan Cheek, a psychologist at Wellesley College. ‘There’s a big subdivision between the loner-by-preference and the enforced loner.’

“Those who choose the living room over the ballroom may have inherited their temperament, Cheek says. Or a penchant for solitude could reflect a mix of innate tendencies and experiences such as not having many friends as a child or growing up in a family that values privacy.”

Solitude may relate to social anxiety or high sensitivity for some people, which can result in emotional overwhelm in many social situations.

But many innovators and creators choose solitude – as persons “who can to a higher degree than average accept the condition of aloneness,” says psychologist Nathaniel Branden.

“They are more willing to follow their own vision, even when it takes them far from the mainland of the human community.”

In her article Psychological Factors in the Development of Adulthood Giftedness from Childhood Talent, Paula Olszewski-Kubilius, PhD talks about solitude in early life:

“Many eminent individuals reported experiencing social isolation and loneliness as children. Many came from homes where there was ample opportunity for time alone for a variety of reasons and circumstances.

“Some were deliberately kept from having friends by their parents who feared the friend’s negative influences. Some creative producers sought solitary time as children to escape family tensions and stressful circumstances.

“Solitary time in childhood also supported the development of a rich internal fantasy life, one that could aid creative thought.” As an only child, I was playing alone a lot of the time. It was me and my imagination, my best friend. Complementing this environment was a group of stuffed animals who became my extended family.

Oh, I had friends in the neighborhood but when they weren’t available, my “stuffed family” was instantly at the ready. My aloneness was one of my comfort zones and probably served up my creativity at this early age without me realizing it.

During present day, I try and use my morning “coffee time” as my solitary think time, when I just let my mind take me to wherever it wants or needs to go.  Sometimes I’m thinking about my next blog post or what to do/not do about a certain incident or experience. Other times, I try to free my mind of all thought and simply relax and let my subconscious do its thing.

As was said earlier, solitude can be both a good and not-so-good thing. Acknowledge both instances and let it serve you well.

 

Thanks in part to Douglas Eby and Talent Development for contributing to this blog post. Douglas Eby (M.A./Psychology) is author of the Talent Development Resources series of sites including High Ability; Highly Sensitive and Creative; The Creative Mind and others – which provide “Information and inspiration to enhance creativity and personal development.”

Hopefully making a ruckus, one blog post at a time!

Be sure to check out my other blog, Ideasnmoreblog, for a different kind of playground for creativity, innovation and inspiring stuff.

Feeling Moody? You’re in Good Company.

We all feel moody from time to time. I know I do. When that happens, I feel mixed emotions. Some both help and hinder my creative outputs. Sometimes certain medication helps me while at other times, just pushing myself to get to work helps get me out of my “destructive” mood and into a more positive frame of mind by submersing myself into my work.

Mood disorders often impact creative expression. About one percent of the general population suffer from manic-depression (bipolar disorder) and five percent from major depression during their lifetime. As many as a quarter of American women have a history of depression. 

According to an Allhealth site article, “The risk of depression among teen girls is high, and this risk lasts into early adulthood, US researchers report. A study of young women living in Los Angeles found that 47% had at least one episode of major depression within 5 years after high school graduation.”

Kay Redfield Jamison, professor of psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, and herself a person with bipolar depression, notes in her book “Touched with Fire..” that the majority of people suffering from mood disorder do not possess extraordinary imagination, and most accomplished artists do not suffer from recurring mood swings.

She writes, “To assume, then, that such diseases usually promote artistic talent wrongly reinforces simplistic notions of the ‘mad genius.’ 

“Worse yet, such a generalization trivializes a very serious medical condition and, to some degree, discredits individuality in the arts as well… All the same, recent studies indicate that a high number of established artists – far more than could be expected by chance – meet the diagnostic criteria for manic-depression or major depression… 

“In fact, it seems that these diseases can sometimes enhance or otherwise contribute to creativity in some people… Biographical studies of earlier generations of artists and writers also show consistently high rates of suicide, depression and manic-depression.” 

Gee, how wonderful! Though I have not experienced bouts of suicidal thought, I have experienced, and still do, bouts of depression and anxiety. But I don’t think that it’s because I’m a writer or creative person. Perhaps, though I am more susceptible to depression because of what I do.

That’s one of the reasons why I write what I write on this blog and share what I share from other blogs and sources. I realize that a lot of what is written affects a variety of people, especially those in creative fields.

The development of mood disorders may start early in life. Author and consultant C. Diane Ealy, Ph.D., in her book “The Woman’s Book of Creativity” writes “Many studies have shown us that a young girl’s ideas are frequently discounted by her peers and teachers. In response, she stifles her creativity… The adult who isn’t expressing her creativity is falling short of her potential. {Note: I would add that in my opinion that’s true of men, too.}

“Repressed creativity can express itself in unhealthy relationships, overwhelming stress, severe neurotic or even psychotic behavior, and addictive behaviors such as alcoholism. But perhaps the most insidious and common manifestation of repressed creativity in women is depression.” 

Consultant, writer and educator Annemarie Roeper affirms that “giftedness can be both a positive and a negative force. It is a burden when it has no channel for expression and it is not understood… Unsupportive environments can lead to depression, to the suppression of one’s abilities, even to feelings of desperation that could become self-destructive.”(Advanced Development Journal, 1991) 

Mary Rocamora, who counsels gifted people and heads a Los Angeles school that attracts gifted and talented adults, says those “who are passionately engaged with their talent but are constantly separated from the creative experience by relentless self-criticism, self-doubt, and feelings of inferiority often suffer from depression and the periodic shutting down of their spontaneous creative impulses. 

“The drive to express their inner creativity is heightened in many gifted individuals, and when the drive to create meets the wall of shame, it implodes into numbness, rage, depression, and hopelessness.” 

She also notes that it is well known among researchers of the gifted, talented and creative that these individuals “exhibit greater intensity and increased levels of emotional, imaginational, intellectual, sensual and psychomotor excitability, and that this is a normal pattern of development.” Dr. Linda Silverman, Director of the Institute for the Study of Advanced Development, has also cautioned that this higher level of excitability and intensity may be misdiagnosed as manic depression.

According to the online listing “Famous People Who Have Suffered from Depression or Manic-Depression,” people in the arts who have declared publicly they are bipolar or unipolar include Tim Burton, Francis Ford Coppola, Sheryl Crow; Ellen DeGeneres; Charles Dickens, Patty Duke; Connie Francis; Mariette Hartley; Margot Kidder; Kristy

Feeling Moody? You’re in Good Company.

We all feel moody from time to time. I know I do. When that happens, I feel mixed emotions. Some both help and hinder my creative outputs. Sometimes certain medication helps me while at other times, just pushing myself to get to work helps get me out of my “destructive” mood and into a more positive frame of mind by submersing myself into my work.

Mood disorders often impact creative expression. About one percent of the general population suffer from manic-depression (bipolar disorder) and five percent from major depression during their lifetime. As many as a quarter of American women have a history of depression. 

According to an Allhealth site article, “The risk of depression among teen girls is high, and this risk lasts into early adulthood, US researchers report. A study of young women living in Los Angeles found that 47% had at least one episode of major depression within 5 years after high school graduation.”

Kay Redfield Jamison, professor of psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, and herself a person with bipolar depression, notes in her book “Touched with Fire..” that the majority of people suffering from mood disorder do not possess extraordinary imagination, and most accomplished artists do not suffer from recurring mood swings.

She writes, “To assume, then, that such diseases usually promote artistic talent wrongly reinforces simplistic notions of the ‘mad genius.’ 

“Worse yet, such a generalization trivializes a very serious medical condition and, to some degree, discredits individuality in the arts as well… All the same, recent studies indicate that a high number of established artists – far more than could be expected by chance – meet the diagnostic criteria for manic-depression or major depression… 

“In fact, it seems that these diseases can sometimes enhance or otherwise contribute to creativity in some people… Biographical studies of earlier generations of artists and writers also show consistently high rates of suicide, depression and manic-depression.” 

Gee, how wonderful! Though I have not experienced bouts of suicidal thought, I have experienced, and still do, bouts of depression and anxiety. But I don’t think that it’s because I’m a writer or creative person. Perhaps, though I am more susceptible to depression because of what I do.

That’s one of the reasons why I write what I write on this blog and share what I share from other blogs and sources. I realize that a lot of what is written affects a variety of people, especially those in creative fields.

The development of mood disorders may start early in life. Author and consultant C. Diane Ealy, Ph.D., in her book “The Woman’s Book of Creativity” writes “Many studies have shown us that a young girl’s ideas are frequently discounted by her peers and teachers. In response, she stifles her creativity… The adult who isn’t expressing her creativity is falling short of her potential. {Note: I would add that in my opinion that’s true of men, too.}

“Repressed creativity can express itself in unhealthy relationships, overwhelming stress, severe neurotic or even psychotic behavior, and addictive behaviors such as alcoholism. But perhaps the most insidious and common manifestation of repressed creativity in women is depression.” 

Consultant, writer and educator Annemarie Roeper affirms that “giftedness can be both a positive and a negative force. It is a burden when it has no channel for expression and it is not understood… Unsupportive environments can lead to depression, to the suppression of one’s abilities, even to feelings of desperation that could become self-destructive.”(Advanced Development Journal, 1991) 

Mary Rocamora, who counsels gifted people and heads a Los Angeles school that attracts gifted and talented adults, says those “who are passionately engaged with their talent but are constantly separated from the creative experience by relentless self-criticism, self-doubt, and feelings of inferiority often suffer from depression and the periodic shutting down of their spontaneous creative impulses. 

“The drive to express their inner creativity is heightened in many gifted individuals, and when the drive to create meets the wall of shame, it implodes into numbness, rage, depression, and hopelessness.” 

She also notes that it is well known among researchers of the gifted, talented and creative that these individuals “exhibit greater intensity and increased levels of emotional, imaginational, intellectual, sensual and psychomotor excitability, and that this is a normal pattern of development.” Dr. Linda Silverman, Director of the Institute for the Study of Advanced Development, has also cautioned that this higher level of excitability and intensity may be misdiagnosed as manic depression.

According to the online listing “Famous People Who Have Suffered from Depression or Manic-Depression,” people in the arts who have declared publicly they are bipolar or unipolar include Tim Burton, Francis Ford Coppola, Sheryl Crow; Ellen DeGeneres; Charles Dickens, Patty Duke; Connie Francis; Mariette Hartley; Margot Kidder; Kristy